Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Camping



SCRIPT

 Narrator: Diego, Hector and Victor are three children on holiday that decided to go camping with the scouts at a ranch near the city. During the day they bathed and had fun on the beach:

Hector: Victor! Let´s go to the water! Run before Diego comes!
Victor: Let´s wait for him, he is getting out of the car, he will be here very soon! Run Diego! We want to get into the water!
Diego: Yes I will get some food to eat it later on! Wait for me please I´ll also get the ball and some beach raquets to play a little bit.
Hector: Ok! Hurry up, all the scouts are already having fun, and out here it is very hot!

Narrator: Diego arrived, he left the ball on the ground and running they went to the water in their swimming costumes. They started playing as if they had guns and the noise they made was awesome for the size they where.

Hector: Bing! Bang!
Diego: Touched!

Narrator: They stayed all the day playing and having lot´s of fun…but suddenly, maybe caused by the exhausting day they had, they didn´t realize they where crossing a road and…

(tracks noise!!)
Victor: Hector!!! Be careful!!! It has been such a fantastic day we cant destroyed now! Are you okay?
Hector: (Shocked) Yes…I must be careful.

Narrator: It all seemed okay the shocked had passed and they where already laughing again, but at night the fear invaded them when they heard that something haunted his tent.

(The children slept, suddenly they heard something about running, Hector suddenly rises)

Hector: Victor! Victor! Have you heard that!!??
Victor (Awakening): What do you want? Do not shout or Diego will also wake up and you know how angry he gets when you waking him up.
Hector: Did you hear that? I think there's something outside.
Victor: It's nothing, probably just the wind.

(Victor starting to settle down, goes back to sleep when he hears the same noise again, as he hears it, he stands up at ones)

Hector: Did you hear? Did you hear?
Victor: Yes! What was that? Don´t panic!
Hector: I do not know that is why I woke you up! Victor…I am a little bit scared, we don´t know what that thing can be, and it is very late, anything that can be outside at these hours can not be good…
(Diego snores…the noise is repeated and both scream and Diego wakes up)

Diego (Upset): Aaah! Why are you shouting!! Can´t you see I´m sleeping? I hate when people disturb me while I am sleeping!!!
(He angrily stands up, runs to get a glass of water and…drinks it slowly).
Victor: We have heard something outside. A very strange noise, like, like…I don´t know, but is really strange don´t you think?
Hector: What if it's a bear?
Diego: We are on a ranch! No bears, on ranches.
Victor: What if it's a monster that already ate the other children and now it is coming for us?
Diego: The monsters only live under the beds!
(He drops the glass and the noise scares even more Victor and Hector.
Victor: Ahhhhhhhh!!! Be careful! I thought there was a monster.
Hector: And if it's a different kind of monster?

(The noise is heard again and closer, the children scream)

Victor: I told you! There's something out there.
Diego: Yes, but I don not think it's a monster. It can be a giant wolf (he imitates a wolf) or a horse (he imitates a horse) or just a lost cow.

Hector: Where are you going Diego? Please come here? Don´t leave us alone! Get away from the door right now!

(Diego goes neer to the door, and opens it)

Victor and Hector: No! Do not open it!
Diego: It's nothing, I'm sure.

(The noise is heard again, Diego opens (door noise) the door and leaves the stage)

Diego: Aaaah!
Victor: What happened? What happened?
Hector: Are you okay?
Diego: I can not see anything out there and I have stepped in a sharp rock.
Victor: Are you okay??
Diego: It hurt a little bit but yes, I am okay. You know what, I have not seen anything out there, although is true I heard that noise as you, but we should try to get a sleep and tomorrow we will tell what we heard to the monitors. Okay?
Victor: I am really tired, but how are we going to sleep with that thing outside?
Hector: Maybe he is right and we should try to sleep a little bit, tomorrow will be another day…
Victor: And what if we don´t survive until tomorrow!
Diego: Do not panic! I will be alert and if something happens I will run to ask for some help.

(they all go to sleep, and it seconds…Diego starts to snore again)

Victor: How can he can get to sleep so quickly, I can not believe it…
Hector: I really don’t know, it´s like magic…but we should try to sleep, don´t worry.

(suddenly that noise again)

Hector: I have heard it again!
Victor: Me too! What are we going to do? We need to ask for help! Where is diego?
Hector: Oh my god! He is not in his bed!
Victor: Don´t worry…look where he is … (Diego is sleeping in the floor)
Hector: Wake him up.

(Victor starts giving with his leg in Diego´s shoulder)

Diego (angry): What are you doing!!!?? (He punches the floor several times and the wall). I was a having a really nice dream!
Hector: That noise again! You must go and ask for help.
Diego: I can´t believe it…okay I will go out.
Hector and Victor: Be careful please! And come here as soon as possible.

(Diego opens the door and goes out…he screams again and then we can hear how the child laughs, then he returns to the scene with a dog in her arms)

Diego: This is what was frightening you! He was searching for food between backpacks. And he is injured in a leg!

(the dog makes noices)

Victor: We must call a vet!
Hector: I agree, get my phone and will call right now!

(mobile phone noise)

Narrator: They called a 24h vet. After 10 minutes they arrived.

(ruido de coche derrapando y sirenas de la ambulacia del veterinario)

Children: We have done a great job!!


Narrator: And so the children could sleep that night knowing that they were safe from the monsters, bears and other creatures of the night who lived only in their imaginations.

Friday, May 24, 2013

You get it !


Charlie(to Jake) : Why did the blond stared at the carton of orange juice ?


Jake : I don't know , why ?

Charlie : Because the carton said concentrate. 



Jake(to his classmates) :That's okay I didn't get it either



Thursday, May 23, 2013

FOR SALE



I give my projects, works and exams. 

My work schedule is not enough for all the stuff teachers ask to do.

Life is too short and the work's too much. 


Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Hamlet




- Hamlet: Gone walking! Not back, avenge death.

- Gertrude: Why do you have so many swords?

-Hamlet: Ah, I'm not gonna lie to you, mother. So long. ( He leaves the room)

50's unusual marriage




-Husband: Honey, I'm home!

-Wife: Hi Darling. How are you?

- Husband: Not to bad. I'm hungry, honey.

- Wife: You know what? Me too, darling.

Newspaper' man



-Man: "North Korea shoots another missile..."

-Woman: Um...

-Man: "... United States is worried about Asia's situation"

-Woman: God! Damn it! Stop boring the newspaper !




Friday, May 17, 2013

First letter


Tengo una mujer en cada mano, sólo salgo con ellas para ver el mundo con color.
Las conocí en un antro de esos que sabes que, entras porque no hay más necesidad.

Que frío, que espanto, me deshidrataba hasta en invierno, no paraba de mojar la almohada. 
Las noches más largas, duraban apenas un par de horas. 
De la necesidad de tu cariño, mi cerebro se inventó lo que mi corazón decía, lo que él quería que pasara. 
Engaños, mentiras e imaginaciones, si... Pero también sonrisas, emoción y alegría. 
Vaya, que fácil era la vida, mi cabeza estaba loca, no me lo podía dejar de creer. 
¿Entonces qué pasó? ¿Qué diablos ha ocurrido aquí? ¿En qué momento se rompió? 
¿Cuándo la ficción superó la razón? ¿Cuándo mi corazón y cabeza decidieron unir fuerzas para vengarse de mí? 
Algo se rompió en mí, un sonoro crack aceleró el pulso, me ardía el pecho y la cabeza se me iba. 

De repente, ni la almohada contenía mis lágrimas, ni con botellas de agua recuperaba lo que mis ojos echaban...
Ya no me respondía nada. 

De tanto intentar apagarlo y encenderlo, pensando en lo correcto, al final se estropeó.
¿Y que más daba? Ya no lo iba a necesitar más, no después de perderte. 
¿Aire al cerebro? ¿Y que piense todo lo que estoy perdiendo? ¿Memoria para recordarme lo que he perdido y dejado escapar? 

Ahora, gracias a un superhéroe de esos con bata, tengo dos mujeres en cada mano a las que veo cada 10 horas y que me invitan a un vaso de agua. 

Dos mujeres que no quieren dejarme ir hasta que no se me olvide porque letra empieza tu nombre.